


Painted Love

by Aelia1980



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Broken Bones, First Kiss, Hurt Jensen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Schmoop, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29202861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelia1980/pseuds/Aelia1980
Summary: When Jensen is hurt while helping Jared paint his new house, Jensen takes care of him...
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Sandra McCoy/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 10
Kudos: 94





	Painted Love

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don´t know Jared, Jensen or anyone else mentioned in this story. This is a work of fiction, written for “entertainment” and certainly not to hurt mentioned characters. I just borrowed their names, jobs and a bit of their background. Nothing mentioned in this fic ever happened.
> 
> A/N: Another story I wrote many years ago, originally posted on my LJ. Just a lot of hurt/comfort and the boys finally realizing there is more to their friendship ;). Enjoy.

# Painted Love

For what seemed like the fifth time in as many minutes, Jared threw a glance at his watch while tapping nervously with his foot, as if he couldn’t wait to jump out of the car Clif was momentarily cruising through the rush-hour traffic.

Jensen couldn’t help but shake his head in fond amusement because this? This was Jared as he lived and breathed. Bouncy and enthusiastic about almost everything, even such silly, normal, sort of unspectacular things like having his new place painted. But ever since the younger man had bought the house, Jared couldn’t stop talking about it. About the big backyard that was ideal for the dogs to play; about the pool he couldn’t wait to jump in on the rare, really hot Vancouver summer days; and about the wooden patio he had already bought a huge grill for. But before Jared could do all this, he wanted to make the house really _his_ by decorating it exactly the way he pictured it. Warm, sandy colors in the living area, a fresh green in the master bedroom, a deep red in the bathroom. He had even shown Jensen the paint samples. Jensen had nodded and mmmed to please his best friend, calling him a girl in the end and making fun of Jared for a couple of days, exactly like his co-star had expected him to. Deep within though, Jensen had smiled, his heart making weird little somersaults. It was kind of cute, lovable. It was a side of Jared people didn’t necessarily expect. And above everything else, it meant that his best friend was planning to settle down in Vancouver. Jared was as ready as Jensen was for years of supernatural adventures to come and that made Jensen the happiest he had been for a while. Never before did Jensen have a friend, a confidant like Jared. Never before...

"Frigging traffic!" Jared’s outraged call pulled Jensen out of his secret thoughts and he felt his cheeks glowing. Once again his mind had walked down a lane that was dangerous to enter, because maybe Jared would eventually see _it_ in his eyes.

He chanced a look at his co-star, who luckily was too busy with ranting about the traffic, before turning his head in the opposite direction and pressing his forehead against the cool dark windows. A few deep breaths, his ears now filled with Jared begging Clif to hurry up, the sounds of engines and an occasional horn, then Jensen was ready to look at his friend again.

Thankfully, Jared hadn’t noticed any of Jensen’s odd behavior, his eyes glued to the cars in front of theirs, which were slowly creeping over the street like snails.

"Hey," Jensen forced himself to chuckle. "Relax, dude. The decorators won’t vanish into thin air just because you’re a few minutes late. You’re paying them a shitload of money. They’ll wait."

Jared harrumphed. "Who knows? It was hard enough to find someone on such short notice, willing to work on weekends."

"You know," Jensen stated matter-of-factly, "you just could..."

"Yeah," the younger man interrupted his friend impatiently. "I know. I could have given them the keys and some instructions but I want to make sure..."

"That everything is perfect," Jensen completed Jared’s thoughts mockingly. "Little princess."

"You call me little, midget?" Jared laughed, his watch and the traffic forgotten for a moment. "I show you what little is!"

"Okay okay." Jensen lifted his hands in an apologetic gesture, his huge smile betraying it, chasing the remains of the blush away. "Gigantor princess. Your darling painters will still be around to paint your bedroom in pink with little golden..."

"Crowns" was muffled by a gigantic hand shutting Jensen up and before he even realized what was happening, Jensen found himself in a strong Padalecki headlock, barely able to free himself. Writhing like an eel and snorting like a horse, Jensen finally managed to get free, catching Jared’s hands in his and wrestling with him, their deadpanned comments swallowed by laughter.

They were still holding their bellies, calling each other "midget" and "princess"when Clif finally stopped in front of Jared’s new place.

The driveway was empty. Neither was there a van with a colorful label saying "Pete’s Pro Painters" far and wide nor the boss himself waiting for Jared.

Jared’s laugh died on his lips and he almost looked like someone had kidnapped his babies.

*

"Maybe they’re just stuck in traffic like we were." Jensen tried to reason but Jared didn’t want to hear any of it. Pacing up and down the living-room, the foil that protected the hardwood floor rustling with every step Jared took, he stared at his cell, as if piercing it would make it ring.

"Then why doesn’t Pete call back, huh?" Jared snarled back, not even noticing that he was totally overreacting.

"Man. Just give him a few minutes. He’ll call back."

Growling deeply, Jared nodded and sat down in the middle of the living-room, not letting go of his phone, still sure that pure will could make Pete call him back.

But he didn’t. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Jensen had long joined his friend on the floor, his fingers playing with the thin foil, his eyes gliding over the bare, dirty white walls, watching the warm July evening sun slowly creeping over the floor and painting the whole room in a much friendlier, warmer light.

"He’s not coming," Jared finally noted, sounding like it was the worst thing ever happening and looking like a lost puppy. "He let me down."

"I’m sorry, Jay." Jensen sounded genuine. His friend might overreact but still, the older actor knew how much Jared had been looking forward to getting his place ready this weekend so that he could finally move in. "But you know, postponed is not abandoned."

His friend shook his low hanging head. "It is. Pete’s closing down for summer vacations on Monday. If he isn’t coming tomorrow, he won’t come at all."

"He’ll come tomorrow," Jensen promised with a certainty he didn’t actually feel. "We should go home."

"I’m home, Jen," Jared said, sounding disheartened while looking at the empty walls and the dirty windows.

"Not yet." Jensen gently bumped his fist into Jared’s shoulder. "But you will be, soon."

Jensen got up, offering his hand to help his friend up. A few seconds passed but then, Jared took it, letting Jensen pull him up and squeeze his hand.

Jared squeezed back, even managing a little smile.

It made Jensen all warm and fuzzy inside.

**

A loud, evil noise woke Jensen up in what he was sure was the middle of the night. He forced his sleep-crusted eyes open and, with his sight still a little blurred, he felt for his cell that was slowly dancing over the smooth surface of his nightstand.

"’Lo?" Jensen mumbled tiredly.

"He didn’t come." Jared sounded like his boyfriend had stood him up. Not that Jared had a boyfriend because, unlike Jensen, his friend was very straight.

"Jay," Jensen sighed, "you know what time it is?"

"Hey," the younger man tried to defend his action. "It’s almost 8."

"It’s Saturday!" Jensen whined. "And it feels like 5!"

It forced a chuckle out of Jared. "For you, it always feels like 5. Even if it’s 12."

"Hey!" Jensen called, trying to sound insulted, but of course, his friend was right. He was so not a morning person. "I’m just not such a freak like you. Let me go back to sleep. I’m sure, your painter will come and bring lots of pink paint for your bedroom, princess."

With these words, Jensen disconnected the call, putting the cell as far away from his current position as possible and burying his head in his pillow as soon as he managed to do this. He was just gliding back to sleep when the evil ring tone sounded through the quiet room once more, much too close to Jensen’s ear for his liking.

Turning around, he put a second pillow over his head, hoping to drown out the sound, sure that it would stop ringing sooner than later. But of course it didn’t. If Jared was determined, he could be very patient.

"Okay, you win, Padalecki," Jensen sighed, grabbing his cell blindly and pressing it awkwardly against his ear. "What now?" he grumbled into the speaker.

"Jen?" He almost could see his friend making those big puppy eyes and a sweet face. Deep down Jensen had a very bad feeling for what was to come now.

"What?" Jensen barked, sounding much harsher than he intended it to.

"You don’t know how to paint, do you?" It wasn’t a real question. Jared knew well enough that Jensen had helped his sister paint her new apartment during hiatus and that in general, he was a handyman.

Jensen groaned. He had plans for his free weekend. Plans that included his bed and some movie, his guitar, some beer and pizza. But how could he ever refuse Jared anything? Especially when it meant so much to Jared like his new place? "I hate you," he grumbled, but his voice sounded strangely affectionate. "Give me half an hour."

Without waiting for Jared’s answer, he switched off his cell while dragging himself out of the bed, hoping that a shower would revive him.

*

When Jensen finally entered Jared’s unlocked house he found his friend standing helplessly in front of a few buckets of paint and muttering under his breath. Holding a brush in his hand and looking at it like he had never seen such a tool before, it was clear that Jared didn’t know what he was doing.

Jensen couldn’t help but smile at Jared’s helplessness. He definitely had two left hands when it came to things like this. "Hey," Jensen said quietly, smiling even wider when his friend turned around to face him. His white tank top, which hugged Jared’s impressive body in all the right places, was already covered with a few spots of paint and a yellowish smear adorned his suntanned cheek.

"Thank Lord, you’re here." A dimpled deep smile lighted up Jared’s face and Jensen’s answer was silenced because sooner than he could wave his little favor away, he found himself wrapped in Jared’s arms, getting a hug that said "thank you" better than any words ever could.

"Lemme go, you freak," Jensen demanded fondly, grabbing the brush Jared was still holding as soon as he could. "You didn’t want to paint the wall with this little thing, did you?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

The other man blushed a little. "Not sure. I just bought everything the guy at the hardware store placed in my cart." He pointed towards a heap of tools that hadn’t been there the day before.

With one look, Jensen noticed that it was more than enough and everything they needed. "That looks great," he muttered to himself, stepping closer and taking the paint roller cover and assembling it with the roller frame. "You use this for large areas," Jensen explained. "Brushes you only use for smaller areas, like around the window or door frames."

Jared mumbled a quiet "thanks", looking a little embarrassed, but Jensen simply ignored it. Patiently, he explained what he was going to do, had a look at the paint and stirred it, as if he was cooking a big pot of colored soup.

Then, Jensen started to work.

He felt Jared’s eyes following his every movement and in a way, it made him feel strangely uncomfortable, like years ago, when they had been sitting together in one of their trailers, running lines together for the very first time. Jensen had quickly gotten used to Jared watching him work, simply because he trusted him and appreciated his feedback, but this was a little different.

It was quiet. Too quiet for Jensen’s liking. The only sounds were that of the paint roller moving over the wall, slowly but surely turning the dirty white in a friendly yellowish-sandy-orange-brown color Jensen couldn’t even name. The morning sun was shining through the big eastern windows, warming his naked arms and neck, making him sweat, until drops of perspiration started to drip down his forehead.

And still, Jared was watching him.

"Hey," Jensen suggested after he had painted the first half of the western wall. "How about some music, some drinks and you stop staring and start helping instead?"

"Yeah, sure," Jared mumbled, turning on his heels at once but if Jensen wasn’t much mistaken, Jared’s cheeks had turned a little scarlet. It made the older man furrow his brow. Was Jared just embarrassed because he hadn’t offered any help yet? Or because Jensen had caught him staring at how his muscles worked? Or had it simply been a trick of the light?

It hadn’t been, because when Jared returned with cool drinks from the fridge, he was still flushed. "It’s em, hot in here," the younger man noted, avoiding eye contact when he handed Jensen some water and hurrying over to open one of the patio doors. "And em, sorry, for not helping. I just don’t want to screw up." Jared still didn’t look at his friend but busied himself with his cell instead and some moments later, the quietness was chased away by the music sounding from the little speakers.

"You won’t." Jensen laughed. "Sure, it’s not as easy as it might look, but it isn’t rocket science, Jay. I’ll show you."

*

Two hours later, the living-room was barely recognizable any longer and Jensen couldn’t help but smile when he saw Jared looking proudly at their work. "Wow," he stammered in awe. "It looks exactly like I wanted it to."

Jensen nodded because Jared was right. It looked pretty good. Warm and friendly. Homey. "And you did it yourself."

Jared brushed the compliment away. "Nah, you did most of it. Thank you, Jen."

There it was again, that deep, genuine smile, showing teeth and dimples, joy and gratefulness and something else Jensen sometimes saw when Jared smiled at him like that but couldn’t find a word for. But as always, it made his heart skip a beat and those butterflies in his bellies fluttering excitedly.

"You’re welcome." Jensen smiled back because, this smile, this look of joy on Jared’s face had definitely been worth sacrificing his holy Saturday. "Let’s have something to eat, man. I’m starving."

**

Jared was happy. A day that had started so crappy ended so well. With pride, he looked at the tender green that now adorned half of the walls in his new bedroom and the eggshell white on the other side, that fitted so well. He had done that. No, not he alone. They. Jensen, who was standing next to him, looking very satisfied too, had done most of it and had once more proofed what a great friend he was. Without Jensen, Jared would have been lost and royally screwed today. Like so often.

Carefully, because he wanted to avoid that Jensen noticed it, like in the morning, Jared let his eyes glide over his best friend. Over the old jeans he was wearing that now showed more spots of sandy, green and blood red than blue. Over the tiny drops of color that had joined the countless freckles on his arm. Up to a face that sometimes made Jared goggle because it was so outrageously attractive and beautiful. Not even the blotch of white changed it. No. It was simply stunning, all flushed because of their hard day’s work, with the evening sun shining on it. All Jared wanted to do was moist his finger with some spit, reach out and gently rub the paint away, kissing the red spot his fingers would leave. But of course, Jared couldn’t do it.

Even something as simple as rubbing a blotch away would cross a boundary Jared was too scared to cross. Jensen might be his best friend, but surely he wouldn't return his feelings. T he fact that Jensen was gay didn’t change it one bit. It made it even harder for Jared. Harder to come out and harder to just give it a chance. Because, how could Jensen love him like that? Him, who didn’t even know how to paint a wall, who was messy and loud and impatient? No, Jensen was too good for him.

A gentle touch brought him back to where he was. Next to his best friend he was in love with and in a bedroom he dreamed of sharing with him one day. Jensen’s fingertips were a barely there touch on his naked arm, but they burned pleasantly and heat ran right into his belly, settling there.

"Jay?" Jensen sounded concerned. "You good? You like it, don’t you?"

"Sure." Jared buried his thoughts and feelings deep within. "I was just thinking how it will look in the end."

"Great," Jensen promised. "Sandy will love it."

"Mmm." Jared murmured unenthusiastically. Jensen didn’t know. Didn’t know that things between him and his girlfriend were rapidly going down the drain. Didn’t know that Jared just couldn’t love her enough, not as much as Jared loved his best friend.

The fingers brushed over his arms and curled around it. It was really nice. Comforting. "Jay? Are you two okay?"

Telling Jensen now was as good as telling him any other day. "Nah. Not really. It’s not working anymore." Jared didn’t dare to look at his friend, didn’t want to see the pity in Jensen’s stunning green eyes.

The grip around his arms tightened. "I’m sorry, Jay." Jensen’s voice was warm, full of sympathy and love. It tightened Jared’s chest. "Is there anything I can do? Help you with?"

Jared shook his head. There was nothing Jensen could do. Nothing except not being so warm and gentle, so unbelievably caring and damn attractive and hot. "It’s okay," he lied. "It’s just, you know, hard. Splitting up with the girl I wanted to marry." Jared felt tears burning in his eyes, tears of hate for himself, for loving Sandy not enough and having to hurt her.

"I’ll be here," Jensen whispered. Gently, he pulled Jared into a hug and let him bury his head in the crook of his neck, let him breath in aftershave and sweat and paint.

In a way, it was like balm on Jared’s soul, but in another, it hurt so much, because Jared knew, he could never really have this. But he tightened his own grip around Jensen and for a few glorious moments he allowed himself to let go and turn the dream into reality.

**

Jensen was staring at the ceiling, not really seeing it because he was surrounded by darkness, with only a barely noticeable light seeping through the shutters. He was beat. He should sleep like a baby but he couldn’t because his mind was too occupied with his best friend.

The news that Jared split up with his fiance had not only surprised him, it had thrown him off track. Sandy... she had always been sort of a buffer for his feelings, had protected Jensen from doing anything real stupid. But now she was gone...

The reasonable part in Jensen knew that it didn’t change a thing. Relationship or not, Jared wasn’t gay and men didn’t suddenly turn gay for their best friend. But the princess in Jensen, the part who often found himself day-dreaming about things that would never be, found a little hope in his best friend being single again.

Of course he wasn’t gleeing. He felt deeply for Jared, but he couldn’t help that a small, flickering candle of hope had been kindled in his heart. And this unreasonable part of Jensen hoped that maybe, just maybe... The way the younger man sometimes looked at him, the way he sometimes touched him... It seemed too intimate for two guys who yeah, surely loved each other, but were nothing but best friends.

Like before, when they had hugged. It had felt so perfect, holding Jared in his arms, his warm breath puffing against Jensen’s neck, his fingers clinging onto Jensen’s back, like Jensen was his life belt. And the way Jared had looked at him then, all affectionate, like he was Jared’s world.

Jensen closed his eyes, willing that look back into his vision and finally fell asleep.

**

"Morning," Jared called cheerily while handing Jensen a scalding hot mug of fresh, delicious coffee.

Jensen couldn’t help but smile, even though it was much too early for his liking. "Morning yourself," he said, taking a deep gulp of his own elixir of life, not even minding that the hot liquid burned his tongue. "You've started already?" It was hard to miss. Jared’s already colorful working clothes were stained with the bright yellow he had bought for the guest rooms.

Smiling broadly, Jared nodded. "Small guest room is almost done."

Jared lead the way upstairs to proudly show his work.

It looked good, Jensen noticed. Sure, not as great as a professional like Pete would have done it and not as good as his own work, but for someone who had only started the day before, it was pretty much acceptable. So much for Jared having two left hands. "It looks good," Jensen acknowledged appreciatively.

"Thanks." Jared glowed like a little kid. "I’ve been wondering, Jen... What do you think of this for the downstairs spare room?" He was pointing at a mixture of blue and gray.

Jensen liked it at once, it was absolutely his taste. "Perfect," he acknowledged. "You know I love these colors."

"Really? You mean it?" Jared beamed.

"Yeah." Jensen was surprised. Why did Jared care so much? Sure, he had asked for his advice before, for countless things, had even asked Jensen to come look at the house before he bought it but this room... so far, it didn’t even have a purpose. It was too big for a guest room, Jared said, and too small for using it for parties or stuff, especially because there was the huge basement he could use for that purpose.

"Great." Jared seemed satisfied, but he didn’t offer any explanation, just got himself busy with painting the corners next to the heaters, whistling while doing it.

Shaking his head, Jensen thought it a little odd, but as soon as he had finished his coffee and was busy painting the upper hallway, it was forgotten.

*

From his view point up the ladder, Jensen was watching how Jared dragged another bucket of paint up the stairs, wiping his sweaty hands off his jeans after he had put it onto the floor dangerously close to the stairs before turning around to fetch the last one. Soon, Jared vanished from Jensen’s vision but the older actor could hear his friend’s gigantic feet tromping down the stairs before he entered the garage, where Jensen could hear Jared rummaging through his supplies. There were barely audible curses until eventually, Jared called, "Hey, Jen, you think you can give me a hand?"

Jensen sighed, but he put down the brush he had used for the rim where ceiling met wall and called back "Sure" the moment he stepped down the ladder.

It happened unbelievably fast. Jensen slipped on the last rung and, fighting for equilibrium, missed the bucket of paint Jared had just put down at the edge of the steps. His left foot crashed against it while his right stepped into nothingness where Jensen thought a step should be.

Desperately, he tried to grip the rail but the cool metal slipped through Jensen’s sweaty hand and suddenly, the wooden step was far too close and everything that should be down suddenly seemed to be up. He felt an agonizing pain in his whole body when it hit the step with a deep thud and his scream was silenced when everything went black.

**

Jared startled from where he fought his war with the stupid paint bucket that had somehow gotten stuck between the wall and the rack, when he heard a deep, unnatural thud and a painful scream that pierced his heart like a knife. As if he had burned himself, Jared let go of the handle at once, calling Jensen’s name even before he hurried down the short hallway that connected the garage with the main hallway.

He was met by the most horrible sight imaginable. His body awkwardly bent, Jensen was lying on the floor, not moving a limb, not giving away any sound.

Jensen’s name got stuck in Jared’s throat and all he could do was stumble forward, bumping his knees on the hard floor when he got down to carefully touch his friend’s face. It seemed waxen; there was sweat on the freckled forehead and blood mingling with it.

Blood. There was so much blood. Blood seeping from a wound on Jensen’s head, and, only now Jared did notice, from his arm.

Jared felt his breakfast moving upwards when he looked closer. A ragged piece of bone had pierced through Jensen’s fair skin, ripping veins, sinews and muscles apart.

He forced his stomach to calm down and pressed his shaking hand against Jensen’s neck instead. Somewhere there must be a pulse. Somewhere.

But there wasn’t. There wasn’t. He looked at Jensen’s chest, hoping for a slight rise and fall, but there wasn’t anything. He wasn’t breathing. There wasn’t any pulse.

His eyes blurred. With tears, with darkness, Jared couldn’t tell, but once more, he forced himself to get a grip and pulled out his cell from his pocket, hurriedly dialing 911. It seemed ages until it was answered and a lifetime until the coordinator at the other end of the line had promised Jared to send an ambulance quickly. A lifetime in which, Jared was sure of it, Jensen was dying.

Once more, he felt for Jensen’s pulse. Maybe, he had just missed it? He was no medic; maybe he had looked for it in the wrong place? Unbelievably gently, Jared let his fingers run over Jensen’s neck, softly and pleadingly calling his name, begging him to open his eyes. But there was nothing. Not a groan, not a flutter of the freckled eyelids, just nothing.

Except, finally, thankfully, Jared felt it. A barely there movement against his fingertip. Very weak but there.

Carefully, Jared placed his hand on his friend’s chest, right over his heart. He felt it beating under his hand and when he leaned so close that everything Jared could see was freckled, sweaty and waxen skin, he felt it. A soft puff against his cheek as Jensen’s weak breath grazed his skin.

"Oh thank god," Jared murmured, gently moving his hand over his friend’s face. He didn’t dare to move him, not sure about any other injuries than the obvious ones, but he took Jensen’s cold, lifeless hand in his own, stroking it. For the first time since he had fallen in love with him, he didn’t care about overstepping the boundaries. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jensen knew that he wasn’t alone.

Time passed. Minutes? Hours? Jared couldn’t tell, but eventually he heard the sirens in the distance, the ambulance coming to a halt in front of his new home, paramedics running up the driveway. Reluctantly, Jared let go of Jensen’s clammy hand, hurrying over to the door and pulling it open exactly the moment the paramedics arrived at his threshold.

Like in slow motion, Jared watched them performing first aid on his best friend. He wanted to go back to where he belonged, holding Jensen’s hand and talking to him but one of the paramedics shook his head, asking Jared to stay away and let them do their job.

"Please, let me go with him." Jared was shocked how broken, worried and pleading his voice sounded and obviously, the paramedics thought so too, because they nodded and without looking back at the blood smeared floor, Jared followed them as they finally put Jensen on the stretcher and wheeled it out of the house and into the ambulance.

*

It was worse than any nightmare Jared had ever had, simply because it was real. He watched how the gurney with his best friend on it was wheeled into the ER, how the doctors treated Jensen, throwing termini at each other Jared had only heard when he had done his guest role on ER.

Eventually, they wheeled Jensen out and over to an elevator where his best friend, who was still looking so pale, so lifeless, vanished from Jared’s view once more.

Jared pleaded with doctors to talk to him, but no one had time. They all put him off. Promised to give him information as soon as they knew more, as soon as they had all scans and tests together.

It didn’t help one bit, made it even worse and with every beat of his heart, Jared’s anxiety grew.

A young nurse guided Jared into a waiting room that was filled with the cries of babies and a disgusting smell of unwashed bodies, vomit and blood that made Jared’s already weak stomach churn once more.

He barely made it to the bathroom. He retched and retched, until everything was out, until the only thing he vomited was bitter, sour bile that burned in his throat. Then came the shaking and the tears, the fear finally taking hold of him. An ice cold hand tightened his chest and clasped at his heart, pressing it together until his breath turned into harsh panting.

Jared was scared. So scared for Jensen. What if... No, he wouldn’t allow such thoughts... Couldn’t allow them. He had to think positive. Hugging his knees to his body, Jared tried to calm himself down, to repress the shaking but it took him a long, long time.

For what seemed like hours, Jared sat on the old, dirty tiles in the hospital bathroom, hoping and praying that Jensen was alright, waiting until all tears were cried and he finally was too tired to shake any longer.

That was how the nurse found him. Beat and tired, his face red, his eyes swollen. She noticed at once what had happened, probably could smell it, and gently guided Jared to an empty surgery.

She didn’t say much, but what she said calmed Jared down a little more and after she had given him a cup of water, she left, only to return with a doctor. It was the same medic who had treated Jensen, Jared noticed.

"How’s Jensen?" Jared’s throat ached and his voice was nothing but a pitiful caw.

"I’m Dr. Weisz," the man introduced himself. "Let me first check on you. Then I’m going to tell you about your friend."

Jared shook his head. "I’m fine. I’m good. Tell me about Jensen now. Is he okay?" His voice was shaking.

"You’re not fine. You have a shock. But okay, here’s the deal. I’ll tell you about your friend now but then you will let me check you thoroughly, okay?"

"Okay," Jared agreed, simply because Dr. Weisz didn’t look like you should start to argument with him.

"Mr. Ackles was very lucky today."

"Lucky?" Jared breathed out because all that blood... it didn’t look lucky at all.

"Yes. It could have been so much worse. He sustained a big laceration on his head, several contusions, a sprained ankle, two broken ribs. Worst is the broken arm. It scared us, because for a while, it wasn’t supplied with blood."

Jared looked at him in confusion. It didn’t sound good but he didn’t really know what it meant. "What does it mean?" Even as he asked the question, something dawned on Jared, something horrible. His heart skipped a beat, but today, it wasn’t in pleasure, but in pure horror. "Does it mean... did he lose it? Don’t tell me Jensen lost his arm?" His voice, his whole body was shaking and tears swamped his eyes again.

The doctor looked very serious. "No, he didn’t. We managed to fix the torn vein." It took a while until the words sunk in, until that boulder as big as China rolled off his heart, making breathing a little easier again. "He’s having surgery now. There’s a lot to mend so it will take some time. But chances for a full recovery are good, Mr. Padalecki."

Jared swallowed hard. Jensen would be fine. He tried to keep a hold on that thought but still, he was so scared for his friend. "I need to see him."

Dr. Weisz put a comforting hand on Jared’s shoulder. "You will see him as soon the surgery is over and we set him up in the ICU. Until then, please, let me check on you. And maybe, we can call someone? Some family?"

Oh dear, Jensen’s folks. Jared had totally forgotten about them, probably because he knew that ever since Jensen had come out to them a few years ago, their relationship was kind of strained. They still loved their son, Jared didn’t doubt it, and Jensen still loved his parents, no matter what they had said, but it wasn’t easy. Nevertheless, they were his blood and they deserved to know what happened. "They’re down in Texas," Jared explained. "I’ll call them myself." He also had to inform Eric and Kim... God, they’d freak out about one of their main cast being sick for indefinite time.

"Okay, but before you do it, it’s time for your part of the agreement. Let me check you."

This time, Jared didn’t fight it. He answered questions, let Dr. Weisz listen to his heartbeat and in the end, he thankfully accepted some medicine to calm him and his still churning belly down. "They might make you tired," the doctor announced. "Don’t fight it. Mr. Ackles will be in surgery for a while and I promise to wake you up as soon as we get some information."

Jared stayed awake long enough to bear the bad news to Kim and Eric and inform Jensen’s parents. They offered to come at once but Jared, who knew that every time Jensen saw them was painful, told them that it wasn’t necessary, that their son would be fine and that he would take good care of Jensen.

He fell asleep, determined to do just that.

*

With his eyes fixed to the floor, Jared quietly stepped into the small ICU room the nurse had lead him to. For a while, he didn’t dare to look up, scared of what he might see. Instead, he watched the gray tiles with fascination and listened to the steady beep of the machine that monitored his best friend. It was both frightening and sort of reassuring. Proof that Jensen was still alive.

Eventually, after having taken a deep breath, Jared’s eyes moved up. Looked into a bruised, pale, sleeping face. Saw the bald patch on the left side of Jensen’s head where a nurse had to shave the hair away so that someone could close the laceration. Felt his heart tightening when he saw the broken arm, wrapped in gauze and bedded on Jensen’s chest. Jared knew, iron plates and screws held the bone together, knew that it would take months of therapy until Jensen could use his arm again properly. But it was still there and that was the most important thing.

Slowly, Jared moved closer, not taking his eyes away from his friend. It was heartbreaking, as worse as he had expected it, but now he had dared it, Jared couldn’t look away anymore.

Finally, Jared reached the bed and was with Jensen again. With his own eyes, Jared could see that his best friend was still alive, breathing on his own and on the long road of recovery.

For a long moment, Jared just watched Jensen and let the reliefwash over him in strong waves.

Then, without really thinking about it, he leaned down and kissed Jensen’s forehead. His lips lingered on the warm skin, for seconds or minutes, Jared couldn’t tell. He only drew back when tears threatened to escape his closed eyes. But even then he didn’t let go of his friend. Fingers spread wide, he put his hand on Jensen’s healthy arm, slowly rubbing up and down.

**

A kiss on his forehead. A warm hand rubbing up and down his arm. A gentle voice talking to him. Pain. First it was barely there but then, it prevailed, chased away all the good things until it was all consuming. Everywhere. Agonizing. In his head, in his chest, in his arm, in his back and legs. So much pain that tears escaped his closed eyes. He wanted to brush them away but he couldn’t move one bit and a stabbing, breathtaking pain shot through his left arm as Jensen tried.

Then there was a gentle, soft fingertip, doing his hand’s job, wiping the tear away. Jensen wanted to open his eyes, wanted to find out who this gentle finger belonged to, but his lids were so heavy. Deep down though, he knew it anyways. Only one hand in the world could ever touch him as gently. Had touched him like this over the past three years.

"Hey Jen." The fingertips were gone, brushing over his arm instead and despite of the pain, Jensen found himself relax, because that voice, as gentle as the fingertips, belonged to exactly the man Jensen hoped it would. Jared. His best friend. The man he loved. "Take it easy, tiger." Up and down Jared’s hand moved, so reassuring, so good. "There’s been an accident."

Accident? Jensen couldn’t remember anything. What had happened? Where was he? Was anyone else injured? Had there even been anyone else? But Jared, the only one Jensen could remember being with recently, was here, so hopefully, things were good.

"You fell down the stairs in my house, Jen." Jared’s voice was shaking. "You broke your arm. Badly." Jared sounded totally shattered and very, very slowly, Jensen forced his eyes open. His sight was blurred, but it was enough to see his left arm in gauze and his best friend’s unbelievably worried and tired face. "You had surgery but you will be okay."

"Good," Jensen said loopily, this one word tiring him more than anything else ever had. He was so tired. But his friend... he looked as tired as he was and he wanted Jared to be well because he needed him. So much. "Go home, Jay," he mumbled. "Sleep. Just come back."

Jared’s hand squeezed his. "Always," Jared promised and with the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, Jensen let himself be embraced by sleep once more.

**

The scent of blood was strong in Jared’s nose when he stepped into his new house the next morning. The huge puddle of blood had dried, but nonetheless, it looked scaring, tightening Jared’s chest.

So much blood... Suddenly, Jared understood what Dr. Weisz had tried to say yesterday. Jensen had indeed been lucky. His friend could have lost his arm. Even worse, his life. But Jensen had had some guardian angel, protecting him and preventing the worst.

The closer Jared came, the sicker he felt. In a way, Jensen’s life had been spilled here, in his new place just because... yeah, just because his friend had been so generous, helping him to settle as soon as possible. It all had been his fault, Jared noticed. It was a sickening thought. He had almost killed his best friend, the one person on earth he loved more than his life.

Once more, tears burned in his eyes and, almost angrily, Jared ripped away the foil that had protected the tiles and crammed it into the huge garbage bag. All the blood was gone but the strong iron scent remained. It, as much as the memory, couldn’t be removed so quickly. A part of Jared wanted to curl up, exactly here in the empty hallway, and cry for what had happened, exactly like he had done yesterday, but he didn’t.

With determination, he wiped the annoying tears away and went upstairs, fetching the beautiful gray-blue paint and all the tools he needed. Right now, the only thing Jared could do apart from visiting Jensen was making him feel at home here, painting the room that was meant for his best friend with the paint he had bought just for him.

Soon, tears were replaced by sweat and Jared only stopped three hours later when it was done. Two walls gray-blue, the others eggshell white, like his own bedroom.

Now, all Jared had to do was wait. For the paint to dry, for the furniture to be brought and for Jensen to come home.

**

When Jensen woke up again, he thought it all had been a dream. The accident, the pain, even Jared being there. But pretty soon Jensen noticed that at least the first part was true. He was in an unknown, small, sterile hospital room, his whole body was on fire, but Jared, he wasn’t there.

Had he only dreamed of him? Of Jared kissing his forehead and wiping his tear away? Of the promise the younger man had given to him, to be there? It must have been like this.

He let himself glide back to sleep; sleep definitely was better than a reality where Jared wasn’t there. And maybe, the next time, Jared would be there.

But he wasn’t; whenever Jensen woke up for a few minutes, he was alone. The pain he was feeling when he noticed it surely came from his broken arm and the tears sneaking uninvited into his eyes were caused by the pain.

He wouldn’t cry because Jared had abandoned him.

*

The warm hand on his arm was back and Jensen knew, he had been mistaken. Jared was back, hadn’t left him alone.

"Jay?" His voice was still so weak and broken but when he opened his eyes, he saw Jared smile.

"Hey. How’re you feeling?"

"Peachy." Jensen scrunched his face in pain. Not even the hourly dose of painmeds he got helped much. "Where’ve you been?" He knew, he sounded a little pissed. But he couldn’t help it. It hadn’t been nice to wake up all alone and he could always blame the meds for making him grumpy.

"I’m sorry, Jen." Jared sounded genuine and looked really sad. "But I had some errands to run. Things that were important."

"More important than your friend lying in a hospital?" Jensen snarled weakly.

Jared looked like Jensen had slapped him and in a way he had. He almost felt sorry for his younger friend. "Nothing," Jared said slowly, "is more important than you are, Jensen. Nothing." It was the way Jared said it, all serious, that made Jensen believe it, that caused his pain to go away for a glimpse of an eye and made him feel all warm and content inside. "But I had to fetch some of your stuff," Jared pointed into a corner of the room where he had put one of Jensen’s duffel bags on the visitor's chair, "and I had to talk to Eric. They put production on a halt for at least two weeks and are thinking about a solution. And now, I’m here."

"Now you’re here." Jensen smiled. It hurt because his face was so bruised and swollen but now, as Jared was with him and he knew, his friend hadn’t abandoned him, he felt like smiling.

**

"Why are you looking at your cell, Jen?" Jared asked as he stepped into Jensen’s hospital room, a hot mug of coffee for his friend in his hand. He had moved in the new room earlier that day and would stay there until he would be released in a couple of days.

For a while, Jensen didn’t answer. He kept staring at his phone like it was an all knowing oracle that was to tell him his future. "I’ll be released in two days," Jensen noted. "I can barely move, and every time I lift my arm, I need pain meds, Jay. I need help. So I’m gonna call my mom."

"But," Jared tried to argue but his friend silenced him with a look.

"Don’t, Jay. I know what you want to say. But, whatever happened between us, she’s my mom. At the end of every hiatus or when she says goodbye after Christmas, she says that I’m still her son and she is there for me. Maybe it’s time she proofs it."

"Jen," Jared said quietly. "There’s another way."

"I don’t want some nurse to cut my meat and help me shower, Jay." Jensen was frustrated. Why didn’t Jared understand? Sure, he didn’t really want to call his mom for help, didn’t want to be even deeper in her debt but there was no choice, not really.

"Forget the nurse, Jen. Come home with me."

Jensen was sure that he had just misheard Jared because quite certainly, he hadn’t offered something like this. "What?" he stammered.

"You heard me quite well, Jen. Come home with me."

Jensen was overwhelmed. "You couldn’t possibly mean that."

His friend smiled. "Sure I do. You’re my best friend, Jensen. You need a little help. I can give it. End of story."

"But," Jensen stuttered. A part of him wanted to go home with Jared so much, wanted to feel his presence day in, day out until he had recovered but the reasonable part of Jensen knew it wasn’t a good idea. It could lead to awkward situations. Very awkward situations. And he couldn’t risk that "Your place. It’s not ready yet and your apartment is far too small."

Now, Jared looked sort of satisfied with himself. "A lot can happen in four days, Jen. The house isn’t a construction site anymore. It’s ready. And you’re very welcome to stay there with me. For as long as you want."

"It’s done?" Jensen couldn’t help but feel excited for his friend. "Did Pete come?"

"Nah. Did it all by myself. You know," Jared grinned from ear to ear, "I had a very good teacher." He took a deep breath. "Please Jen. Don’t make me beg here. Come home with me. Let me help you a bit."

Jensen was tempted. Here he had the choice. The choice between being with his best friend or with his mother, who loved him but still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he was into men. The choice between someone who made him smile almost every time while his mom... well, more or less made him roll his eyes mostly. It was not really a question which alternative was the better one. What Jared had offered him was a gift and it would be stupid not to accept it.

"Okay," Jensen agreed, switching his cell off. "If you really want to do it."

"Sure I want to do it, Jen. I want to help."

A simple "thank you" wasn’t enough but nevertheless, it was all Jensen could offer at the moment.

"Never mind." Jared brushed it away. "You would have done the same for me."

Jensen smiled when he noticed that he really would have.

**

Jared stepped into Jensen’s new room, slowly looking around and being very satisfied with what he saw.

The freshly painted walls were now adorned with black and white photos Jensen had shot himself, the dark gray carpet that covered most of the bright hardwood floor was fluffy and very comfortable to walk on and the furniture Jared had bought the moment he had decided what to do with this room, were of a very bright wood and fitted perfectly.

There was also a cozy armchair, a brand new TV and HiFi equipment and - Jared was proud that he remembered - two very impressive orchids in full bloom.

Now he just hoped that Jensen would like the room, too.

*

Fully dressed with his duffel bag on his knees, Jensen was sitting on the side of his hospital bed and arguing with Nurse Betty about why by no means he would leave the hospital in a frigging wheelchair.

"It’s hospital policy, Jensen," the nurse tried to reason. "We have to do it. For insurance reasons."

"I don’t give a damn about stupid insurance," Jensen growled and the young nurse stepped back a little, as if she was scared that the handsome man in front of her would turn into a dangerous animal.

Jared could barely repress a chuckle when he finally knocked on the half opened door to make his presence known. "Hey," he said cheerily, "ready to go home?"

Funnily, both Jensen and the nurse looked relieved when they saw Jared.

"Jay!" Jensen’s green eyes lighted up. "Heaven sends you! Please help me here. Betty wants me to leave the hospital in this thing." He pointed at the wheelchair, while looking pretty much disgusted.

Turning around, he looked at Betty, who shrugged and looked a little helpless. "It’s obligatory, Jared."

"Can you give us a moment?"

She nodded, looking more than happy to leave and hurried away.

"You scared her," Jared laughed while he sat down in the wheelchair, trying to move the old thing back and forth. He looked at his friend who followed him with every of his movements but still looked grumpy. "Listen, Jen," Jared wheeled a little closer, close enough that he could touch him. Which Jared wanted but didn’t. "I know this sucks. Big time. You’re still in pain and can barely move. And now, you have to go home with me while I know how much you love your space and your independence." Jensen looked a little uncomfortable in his skin but he didn’t try to deny it. Jared couldn’t repress that a little smile flit over his face. He knew his friend just too well. "But, that’s not Betty’s fault. She’s just doing her job. Just think what might happen to her if you fall and get yourself even more injured. And this ride here," Jared bumped his fist against the frame, "is not even bad. It’s just for a little while."

"Okay," Jensen called impatiently before Jared could say even more. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jared was surprised. He hadn't expected to win that soon.

"Yeah. But just because I don’t want to spend any more time in that stupid hospital. I just wanna go home, Jay."

Jared smiled. Jensen had called his place home.

**

"We’re home," Jared stated the obvious but Jensen didn’t really hear it, like most of the one-sided conversation his best friend had swamped him with ever since Jared had carefully helped him into the car.

Jensen had been far too occupied not to cry in pain that was running through his body in strong currents and that got even worse whenever his friend drove over a bump in the street and that shot through his mangled arm like fire. The pain meds only helped a little and made him even grumpier than normal and prone to tears.

He had barked at the poor nurse and had almost started crying when Jared had talked him into the wheelchair ride. It had been so damn close. He didn’t want to walk down that lane because he was fine, if you could call such pain fine, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen Jared’s worried face and had heard the doctors talk and he knew, he had been one lucky guy. For not losing his arm. For not breaking his back. For not dying.

"Jen?" Jared’s arm was a light weight on his left shoulder but still, it hurt, and Jensen took in a sharp breath.

At once, his friend drew it back, and the loss of the touch and the look of guilt on Jared’s face was even worse than the pain. "I’m sorry," he stammered, looking close to tears. "I didn’t..."

"It’s okay, Jay," Jensen said tiredly. "It’s just... it’s sore."

"Are you in pain?"

"A little." Jensen lied. He didn’t want to burden his friend even more with the knowledge that on a scale from zero to ten, he probably was on eight.

"Okay, so let’s go." Luckily, Jared had parked in the garage and it only were a few steps from there but even these seemed too long when Jared carefully helped Jensen out of the car. A crucial pain shot through Jensen’s sprained ankle the moment he put weight on it and even though Jared helped him so well, more carrying Jensen than guiding him, sweat started to run down Jensen’s forehead after only a few small steps.

But he didn’t say a word. He was no wuss. He gritted his teeth together and swallowed down his pride and let his younger friend carry most of the load of his bruised body, while he was wondering how on earth he could make it upstairs. The stairs that had almost killed him. He wasn’t even sure if he would dare to step on them again.

"Jay," Jensen gasped once they had finally reached the main hallway. "I can’t go up there." He turned his head in the direction of the stairs. "No way."

"There’s no need to." Jared sounded very satisfied with himself. "I set up a room for you." He paused. "The big room that was too small for the party room, Jen."

Jensen felt relieved. He didn’t mind that it would only be a small bed in an otherwise empty, uncomfortable room that wasn’t probably even renovated yet. All he cared about was a bed. Every step got harder now and he was so tired. He leaned closer towards Jared and the younger man tightened his grip. It hurt, but it was a good pain.

"Here we are," Jared announced eventually and only now did Jensen notice that he had actually closed his eyes.

He opened them and saw a room he had never seen before. It didn’t look at all like the room he remembered. The scent of fresh paint and brand new furniture was strong in Jensen’s nose. It seemed a little smaller than he remembered it and there was a door that shouldn’t be here. And best of all, Jensen noticed in his blurred mind, there were pictures that seemed familiar to him and a TV and the most beautiful orchids he had ever seen and a bed. Not small but big, really big, big enough for him and someone else to cuddle. Not that he had someone to cuddle. Not that he ever would cuddle someone in Jared’s place. At least no one but Jared. But cuddling with him was out of the question. God, he was so tired and his mind was running riot. Maybe he was dreaming? He felt tired enough for it. "Jay? What is?" he wanted to ask where he was, what this place was, why there was such a beautiful room where nothing should be but he felt his eyes falling shut and everything getting so heavy.

"Jen, not now. Later." Were there fingers combing through his hair? No. Jared wouldn’t do this. "Now is for settling you in and sleeping."

Oh yeah, sleep sounded so good. He felt like a sleepwalker when Jared moved him through the room and gently pressed him onto the mattress. It felt perfect, exactly how Jensen liked a mattress, not too hard but not too soft. Suddenly, his shoes were gone and a warm, gentle hand pressed him down until his head came to rest on the softest, best smelling pillows ever. Carefully, Jared bedded his broken arm like the nurse had shown him and then there came a fluffy blanket, covering Jensen from toe to neck.

"Have some pain meds," Jared murmured before Jensen heard him rummaging in his bag and felt Jared pushing the pill between his lips and a bottle of cool water being held there just moments later. Jensen drank greedily.

He wanted to say something but even before he could, he drifted off to sleep. The last thing he noticed was a finger gently brushing over his cheek. But Jared wouldn’t do that so, yes, it all must have been a dream.

**

Quietly, Jared entered Jensen’s room. His friend was still sleeping and for once, his face looked peaceful, not contorted with pain like most of the times since the accident. Still, he looked vulnerable and sort of fragile. The bruises had turned his beautiful face into shades of blue, green and yellow and it looked more slender than Jared had ever seen it. Jared knew, the body now hid beneath the cover didn’t look much better and the arm was even worse; the sutures big, the skin red and the scar would forever remind Jensen of what happened. But at least for now, his friend was sleeping, hopefully dreaming of something good and nice, not of the accident.

Jared sat down next to Jensen and just watched him sleep for a while. It was probably creepy but it was good, to see the rise and fall of Jensen’s chest, to hear him mumble something inaudible once in a while. It was so much better than a week ago, when Jared had found his friend in a puddle of blood and had been so scared for him.

Tentatively, Jared reached out, but then he let his fingers ghost over Jensen’s hand and took it in his own. Only lightly, so that his friend wouldn’t wake up. For once, he could risk it. Jensen was out, the pain meds doing their job, and they were alone. No one would see, no one would know.

He studied Jensen’s hand like it was a painter’s masterpiece. He liked it, had wanted to hold it for a long time. He loved Jensen’s fingers. Liked when they touched him. When, on very rare occasions, they ruffled through his hair or poked Jared in his chest. They were beautiful, like all of Jensen’s body. Even there he could spot the occasional freckle. They jerked a little in his hold and eventually, Jared let go, too scared that Jensen would wake up.

Looking at Jensen one last time, Jared left. There were things to do and his friend needed all the rest he could get.

**

Slowly, Jensen woke up. He had slept deep and well and the pain that had been dominating his life recently was a barely there thud in the depth of his body at the moment. The bed he was lying in was damn comfortable, there was the song of a twittering bird sounding from the half opened window and a mild summer evening wind ruffling the curtains. From a few rooms further away, he could hear someone rummaging around. He knew where he was. Neither in the hated hospital nor in his own place, but with Jared, his best friend, who had promised to take care of him and had already done a very good job so far.

He opened his eyes. And stared. Outright goggled. Because this? He hadn’t expected this. In the back of his mind he saw himself being dragged inside this room some or many hours earlier and back thenhe had thought he was dreaming but nowJensen was sure he wasn’t.

Such a beautiful room. The color on the walls, the matching light curtains and carpet, the furniture. His heart even skipped a beat when Jensen recognized the photos on the walls. He had taken them all by himself over the years, some way before Jared and him had met. How had Jared gotten them?

For a while, Jensen just looked around, saw a door that lead somewhere else, and couldn’t help to be surprised. What was this room? And when had Jared decorated it? Apart from this first day in the hospital, Jared had been with him almost every hour, had only reluctantly left him for a few hours of sleep during the night.

"Jared?" he called eventually, because he could torture his mind about what Jared had been doing or simply ask him. "Jared?!" he tried again. "Jared!"

It took a few moments, but eventually he could hear steps in the hallway and a moment later, Jared opened the door, beaming brighter than the sun. "Hey, you awake! Sleep well?"

"Beyond awesomeness," Jensen smiled and it was true. For the first time in a while, he felt good. He knew, the road of recovery was still long but he was getting better. He was almost pain-free at the moment and best of all, he was not alone. Jared was with him.

"Good, that’s good." Jared looked really relieved. "You want something to eat?"

Jensen was hungry but there were more important things. He wanted to satisfy his curiosity and before he was going anywhere, he needed a shower. Or a bath. Whatever. As long as his disgusting greasy hair was clean again and the smell of the hospital gone. "Later but first, tell me Jay, what is this place?

"You like it?"

"I love it, Jay. It’s perfect. Exactly like I would have decorated my apartment, if it hadn’t come fully furnished."

Now, the younger man looked very smug. "That’s good because it’s yours."

Jensen must have misheard. "Mine?"

"Yeah, if you want it. I mean, you’ve crashed at my old place a million times and I guessed that it won’t change now I have the house and I have so much space so I thought, why not give you a room of your own. It’s better than the couch and..."

"It’s too much, Jay," Jensen stammered, totally overwhelmed. How could he accept it? A room, much cozier than his own apartment? With the most comfortable bed and beautiful flowers, with space for himself and so much more than a couch. "I um, don’t know what to say, Jay. I’m speechless."

The younger man grinned from ear to ear. "Just say that you will use it once in a while when you’re good enough to return to your own place."

Jensen nodded and smiled. It hurt a little, his face still sore, but like so often, Jared was worth it.

*

The water that came from the jets massaged his body and the warmth seeped right through his skin and settled into his aching bones. Lazily, Jensen let the sponge glide over his skin and felt some of the pain and most of the strain wash away with every gentle stroke. Finally, he felt clean again. He let his eyes glide over the bathroom, still too overwhelmed with what Jared had done for him. Not only had he made him a bedroom, he had added a bathroom, too. It was bigger than the one he had in his apartment, with daylight seeping through the window, gray and white tiles, and matching, fluffy towels. There even were candles. Jared had always laughed about Jensen having candles in his bathroom, had called this totally gay, but still, here he had gotten them for him, too.

It must have cost Jared a fortune, but he had only brushed it away when Jensen had mentioned it earlier, while Jared helped him out of his clothes and had carefully packed his arm in a plastic bag. Then he had left to wait outside until Jensen was ready to have his hair washed. Jensen wasn’t really looking forward to it because yeah, that was damn intimate. Sure, Jared had seen him naked before, but never in a tub, while washing his hair because Jensen was too restricted to do it himself.

He looked down at himself and suddenly felt ashamed. Ashamed of his bruised body, with the ribs sticking out because he had lost a few pounds in the hospital. Jared had looked shocked when he had helped to undress, barely daring to touch him, afraid that he would hurt him... And he did. Every touch hurt, everything was sore and fragile.

Luckily, now the foam was floating thickly on the surface to cover most of his body pretty effectively.

"Jay?" Jensen called eventually, before the water could turn cool and the foam vanish.

"Yeah, I’m still here. You ready?"

Jensen heard him knock at the door and after an acknowledging sound, Jared came in. "Yeah, lets get it over with. If it’s still okay for you," Jensen rambled, "I mean, if not, I’ll find a way. Fortunately, it’s only the left arm and..."

"Shut up, Jen," Jared laughed while wetting his hands at the sink. "It’s nothing." He fetched the shampoo and a towel and sat down on the rim of the tub. "Close your eyes, Jen," he asked and Jensen was very happy to oblige. Not seeing what Jared was doing might help making it easier.

First, he felt warm but not too hot water running over his head and when it was gone, there were long, slender fingers, carefully massaging shampoo into his hair. It felt unbelievably good, how Jared moved his fingers up and down, carefully avoiding the bald patch with the healing wound. Jensen bit his lips, because if he didn’t, he’d moan in pure pleasure, but Jared noticed. "Relax Jen," he commanded gently, working his fingers deftly through his hair, massaging Jensen’s scalp, his neck, even his shoulders.

Jensen didn’t complain, felt heat rushing through his body down south and his cock hardening. He moaned. Fuck. Why did Jared make him feel so good? Jared kept on massaging and in a way, Jensen hoped it would never end. But eventually, some more pleasured sighs later, it did, with Jared rinsing out the shampoo thoroughly, until the last bit of foam was gone. Only then did Jensen dare to open his eyes and luckily, Jared was busy washing his hands and didn’t see Jensen’s flushed face and his good hand vanishing into the water where it couldn’t wait to work his hard dick.

"Need some help getting out and dry?" Jared offered while drying his hands.

"Not yet," Jensen pressed out between thin lips. God, he was so hard. "Maybe in a few minutes. I’d like to stay for a while. Water’s still warm."

Jared grinned sassily. Did he maybe know what he had done to Jensen? "Sure, just call me."

Even before Jared had completely closed the door, Jensen’s fingers had curled around his dick, and as he stroked it, he wasn’t surprised when he imagined those fingers being Jared’s, massaging his dick and balls like he had just massaged his head.

**

"Jen, you okay?" Jared asked, looking at his friend, concern in his eyes. Jensen had been very quiet since Jared had helped him out of the tub and into comfortable pajama pants. He had mumbled a quiet, almost ashamed "thanks" when Jared had rubbed his hair dry, when he had cut his pizza and watched him forcing down only a few pieces before claiming that he wasn’t really hungry. Then, Jensen had allowed Jared to help him over to the sofa where he had sunk into one of the corners, only watching the movie with half-opened eyes.

"Just tired, Jay," he mumbled now, looking at Jared with heavy eyes.

"Do you need your meds? Do you want to go to bed?"

"I’ve been lying in bed for a week now, Jay. It’s good to be someplace else. And the meds. They make me grumpy," he admitted. "You deserve better."

Jared didn’t argue, but got a blanket from one of the closets in the hallway. "I always like you, even grumpy," he called and the chuckle he got in return caused a little flip-flop in his belly.

"Liar," Jensen said when Jared came back.

"Nah, the simple truth," Jared admitted as he covered Jensen with the blanket. "You’re my best friend, man. Nothing changes this."

Jensen looked at him tiredly, but he smiled. "Then give me the damn meds. But don’t complain when I turn into a nasty monster."

Jared left, fetching more than the meds, but also gloves, antiseptic cream and fresh gauze. He had wanted to change Jensen’s dressing after his bath, but Jensen had only shaken his head, mumbling something about "later".

"Later," he tried again after he had swallowed the pill with some water.

"Later is now," Jared said matter-of-factly. "Betty made me promise to dress it twice a day, in the morning and in the evening. The wound needs the cream, Jen. It helps."

He turned his whole body away, like a little child who didn’t want comfort. "I don’t want you," Jensen whispered.

Suddenly it dawned on Jared. Stupid, self-conscious Jensen! He was ashamed. Of everything. Of the many bruises blooming on his fair skin, of needing help and probably, worst of all, of the big, ugly scar. "Don’t be stupid, Jen," Jared said gently, sitting down very close to him and placing his hand on his back, rubbing it up and down. "I’ve seen it before. It’s not pretty, I know that, but I don’t care and you shouldn’t either."

"But I do." It was barely audible. "About all of this. You shouldn’t have to do that, Jay. Wash my hair and dry me off and cut my pizza and bring me to bed and..," Jensen sniffed.

Jared felt sad and a little helpless. "But I’m happy to do it, Jen. You got yourself injured, while you were helping me so..."

"You feel obliged to do it?" Jensen snarled without really listening. "You think it’s your duty?!"

It felt like a slap in the face. How could Jensen just think this? "No! Of course not, Jen. How often do I have to say it? I do it because you’re my best friend, you stupid bastard, and because I want to help you. But if you don’t, you should rather call your mom." Angrily, Jared pulled his cell out of his pocket and threw it into Jensen’s lap. "Just do it, Jensen. Call her. I’m sure it’s much more pleasant with her in your tiny apartment and her looking at you like you have two heads just because you’re gay."

Furiously, Jensen took the cell and threw it onto the floor. "Fuck you," he yelled and then, he cried. Finally. Jared had waited for the breakdown. There had been so much going on in Jensen’s life, bad things before the accident and Jensen, he had never really cried. But Jared’s words had been the straw that broke the camel’s back and maybe he should feel guilty, but he didn’t. Because finally, his best friend let it out.

"Hey, it’s okay," Jared whispered, reaching out and carefully drawing Jensen closer.

First, the older man struggled, but Jared didn’t let go, was only satisfied when he had his friend where he belonged; in his arms, his head on Jared’s chest, crying and sniffing and wailing pathetically. Jared didn’t care that his shirt was soon wet and that he didn’t even understand a percentage of what Jensen mumbled. He was just glad that he was there.

"Told you the meds turn me into a nasty monster," Jensen sniffed eventually.

"And I told you I don’t care, Jen. Because you’re my nasty monster." Jared bit his tongue. Shit. He shouldn’t have said that. Had he finally revealed his secret?

But Jensen just looked at him tiredly, his beautiful eyes red and puffy. "I’m sorry, Jay. I’m happy to be here. You gave me a room... Did I say thanks for it?"

"I’m sorry, too, Jen," Jared said, tightening his grip around Jensen. "I shouldn’t have brought up your mom. I know how hard it is for you that they don’t accept you the way you are."

"It’s okay, Jay. I deserved it. I was whining and unreasonable and ungrateful. Can you please dress my arm, now?

Jared smiled. He knew, he had won. "Sure I can."

They both didn’t say one word while Jared undressed the gauze, cleaned the wound with some heavily smelling disinfectant, put a thin layer of antiseptic ointment on it and redressed it carefully.

But when Jared came back after he had put the stuff away and sneaked his arm around Jensen’s torso, the older man sighed pleasantly, smiling at Jared fondly before he placed his head against Jared’s chest again.

Jared only let go when it was time to go to bed. He carried Jensen over to the room he had painted for him and tucked him in.

***

Jensen woke up. He knew, it was in the middle of the night, with the room being full of shadows and darkness, but something was odd. He wasn’t alone. He had heard someone or something move.

Could it be Jared’s dogs? No, Jensen remembered. They weren’t here yet, still with Jared’s folks in Texas because Jared didn’t want the dogs to bother him while he was recovering.

He let his still half-closed eyes wander from left to right and felt fear shooting through him like pain when he noticed the dark silhouette that was sitting in the armchair, watching him intensely. In the first moment of shock, he wanted to scream like a girl but then, he relaxed.

He knew that body. It could hug so well and took so good care of him. "Jay?" he mumbled tiredly. "What are you doing here?"

His friend took in a sharp breath. Tired he might be but Jensen realized at once that Jared hadn’t meant for him so see him, that he had secretly sneaked into the room and that he would have left it eventually as quietly. Moving a little, Jensen came close enough to the light switch above the night stand and switched on one of the smaller lamps.

Jared looked as if he was caught in the act. "I’m sorry," he stammered and huh, was his face scarlet red? "I shouldn’t... I wasn’t sure if I closed the window...," he lied and god, was Jared a bad liar for someone who lied professionally, as an actor. What bullshit.

"Jay," Jensen asked again, still tired but curious and maybe, a little excited. "Why are you here?"

"I um," Jared jumped up from the armchair, moving back to the door where he had come from sometime earlier. "The window."

"I don’t believe you, Jay." Jensen didn’t sound angry and he wasn’t. He was just curious. "Did you watch me sleep, Jared?"

"Why should I," he stammered.

"Don’t know," Jared whispered. "You tell me. Why you did it tonight and the past few days, ever since you brought me home."

Jared took in another sharp breath and it was enough for Jensen to realize that he was right. That he hadn’t been mistaken in the nights before when he had woken up and seen the same silhouette or had heard feet whispering over the floor.

This time, his younger friend didn’t deny it. "Are you mad, Jen?"

"No Jay, I’m not. Just curious. Though I admit, it’s a little creepy. Tell me, what’s going on?"

The room was still only semi-lit, but not so dark that Jensen couldn’t see Jared nervously playing with his fingers and moving from one foot to the other until eventually, he came back to where he had come from, sitting down on the armchair.

"I um, just wanted to check on you," Jared finally admitted.

"Check on me?" Jensen wasn’t quite sure where this was leading to.

"Yeah. Make sure you’re okay."

Jensen felt his chest tightening because this, this was creepy but really, really sweet. "Jay," he sighed. "The accident was two weeks ago. I’m doing so much better, even the arm is finally healing and almost free of pain."

"I know," Jared stuttered and hey, did his voice sound teary? "But still, I wanted to make sure, Jensen."

What was Jared trying to tell him? He didn’t really understand because this, it was way beyond the concern someone felt for his best friend. It ran deeper but it never could mean this. It simply couldn’t. Jared wasn’t like him. Jensen knew Jared loved him, god, he had shown it again and again, but not like this. Not like Jensen loved Jared. "Jay?" Jensen’s voice was full of hope. "What is happening? Why are you here?"

Jared moved his big hand over his face, covering his mouth for a moment. "Jen, I," he sniffed. "Two weeks ago I found you lying in a puddle of blood." The pain and the worry was palpable in Jared’s shaking voice. "I was scared shitless. I checked for your pulse but I... I was so scared and shaking and there was so much blood and I couldn’t find it, couldn’t see your chest move and I thought." He sniffed again. "I thought you were dead, Jen."

"Jay," Jensen breathed out, not sure what else he could say. He felt cold and hot and sad and warm and fuzzy all at the same time. "I’m fine, Jay."

"Yeah, I know but there were a few moments when I didn’t know that, Jen. And they were horrible, Jensen. The worst few moments of my life. I felt all cold and empty. Losing you, Jensen, it... it would have killed me."

And finally, Jensen could see. So much more than Jared’s hunched posture and the tears that were dripping down his face. The truth. How could he have been so blind? He had hoped and dreamed of it, but still, he hadn’t believed it. Because how can you see something what you don’t believe in?

"It’s okay, Jared. C’mere." He lifted the cover invitingly. A part of him didn’t believe what he was doing as he watched Jared looking at the free spot on the bed. "C’mere," he said again. He probably sounded like a evil witch who lured the princess into the dark wood. "Let me show you, Jay."

He reached out his hand and eventually, he saw the hesitation crumble from Jared’s face. He got up and took the offered hand. Other than two weeks ago, Jensen twined his fingers with Jared’s. Jared’s eyes grew wider, but he didn’t let go, let himself draw closer. "C’mere," Jensen whispered.

And then, Jared was there, next to Jensen, in the soft bed Jared had bought for him. He guided the hand he was holding over to his chest and pressed it against the spot where his heart was beating steadily, excitedly. "Feel it, Jay? It’s beating. Strong and healthy." He gently took the hand away and placed it onto his broken harm. "It’s mending, Jay. I won’t deny it, sometimes it still hurts and I bet, it will be a bitch once PT starts but they fixed it."

He let go of the hand and used his healthy arm to press his friend a little closer, while the younger man gently ghosted his fingers over the dressing he had renewed only a few hours earlier, taking Jensen’s fingers in his own. They were wonderfully warm and moved his incredibly gently. "You could have lost it, Jen," Jared whispered. "It was so very close."

"I know. I could have broken my back and be a paraplegic for the rest of my life. I could really have died, Jay." For the first time, he spoke of all this, of how lucky he had been. "But I didn’t. I only broke my arm and some ribs and got the bruises of a lifetime. I was very lucky. The ugly scar is a little price to pay."

"I’m sure, the fans will love it."

"I don’t care about the fans," Jensen said. At first, he had. But there was make up and long sleeves. And it fitted his character.

"I love it too, Jen," Jared admitted while carefully massaging his fingers.

"Yeah?" Jensen looked at Jared. His eyes were big and there was a sweet smile on his face, only enough to show a hint of the dimples Jensen loved so much.

"Yeah. It makes you manly, little midget."

"Thank you, princess." With regret, he let go of Jared, but only long enough to switch the light off.

"Stay with me tonight to make sure I’m okay?"

Jared sighed contentedly. "Yeah, I can do this."

Jensen closed his eyes. It was really happening. He leaned over to kiss the first spot of Jared he could find. It was his ear and it made the younger man snort.

"How about kissing this?" Jared asked seductively, stretching his long neck even longer until their lips touched. Heat ran through Jensen and fireworks exploded in his belly just from that simple touch alone. It got even worse - or in that case, better - when the kiss deepened, when Jared started to map out Jensen’s mouth with his tongue and allowed him to do the same. They sighed and moaned, let their fingers run over skin and through hair and whispered stupid, sweet nothings, until eventually they ran out of breath, needing to take deep gulps of air.

It really was happening. Jared was with him in a way he had never believed it to be possible. "Watch over me tomorrow night, too?" Jensen asked, hoping he didn’t jinx it. But he felt Jared smile against his neck.

"I’ll watch over you as long as you let me, Jen."

"How about forever, then?" He swallowed. He shouldn’t have said that.

"Forever?" Jared let it roll off his tongue. "Sounds very good."

Jensen’s heart was beating, real fast, real hard. He hoped Jared noticed it. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He kissed his cheek. "Now go to sleep, Jen."

"Mmm," Jensen sighed. "Why did you never tell me?"

"Go to sleep, Jen," Jared said again. "That’s a story for another day. We have the whole forever now."

Sighing contentedly, Jensen snuggled even closer, slowly drifting away to sleep. The last thing he felt was Jared letting go of his fingers, only to place his hand against his chest again.

**

Breathing in and out with Jensen, Jared was lying next to him, wrapped in his arm and feeling his strong, healthy heartbeat against his fingertips.

After all those years, this was really happening. Jared still couldn’t believe it. Maybe it was a very vivid, wonderful dream?

But as he listened to Jensen’s soft snores, he knew it wasn’t. It was real.

He concentrated on Jensen’s heartbeat, felt his chest move with every rise and fall and watched over him for a little longer, like he knew he would do every night from now on, until his dying day.

**The End**


End file.
